Crisis in Denim Contemplates Letting Herself Go

Lately, I’ve been thinking about letting myself, well…how shall I say it?

Amy's Bread Pink Frosted Cake

I would eat an entire one of these in one sitting, if I could just bring myself not to care about fitting into super-cute clothes. It’s delicious. Plus, it’s pink, like my blog. Photo courtesy of Amy’s Bread.

I’ve been thinking about letting myself go. Really go to seed. As in, drop that Abs Attack! class and let my only exercise be the walk from the couch to the freezer for a gallon of Edy’s Slow Churned (Light ice cream ceases to be “light” when you eat one dozen servings over the course of as many hours, bee-tee-dubs.).

I mean, here I am, pushing middle age. Single. We all know it’s right about now that gravity really starts to gain the upper hand anyway, so why not let gravity do its thing (exert its saggy forces on my body), while I do my thing (eat a tub of ice cream the size of my head all in one sitting)? I’d never have to have a denim crisis when my cropped Paige jeans felt snug. Instead, I’d just pull on my fave elastic-waist jeans.

Well, here’s my reason: I love clothes.

It’s that simple. I just love clothes. I love (most of) my clothes, and I want to continue to be able to button and zipper them. But more than that, I love the idea of clothes—looking at outfits I’d like to have, or fantasizing about the possibility I’ll someday have the ones whose price tags make me covet them from afar.

In the meantime, much like the E.U. countries, I have been imposing austerity measures as of late (okay, just the last four days, but it feels like eternity) so permit me to make a list of the first things I will devour with utter abandon should I decide my love affair with clothes is over, and it’s truly time to let myself go:

1. Black and white cookies, the kind of soft buttercream-type frosting

2. Black and white cookies, the kind with the hard, crunchy-type frosting

3. Amy’s Bread plain yellow cake with pink frosting

4. Amy’s Bread plain yellow cake with mocha frosting (full disclosure: I have never tried this, but I feel I can write with a fair amount of confidence that it is damn good.)

(You’re seeing the theme here, right?)

5. Every flavor of Edy’s Slow-Churned ice cream, in alphabetical order

I know I can’t wear every style that catches my eye. But until I lose my taste for clothes, it seems I’ll still have to keep making somewhat of an effort to curb my taste for sweets. As they say: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Ha.

 

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