Twelve Months of Shoes

Did someone say shoe of the month?

Some time ago I became aware that there is such a thing as a shoe-of-the-month club. There are several, actually. One called Shoedazzle, styled by Rachel Zoe. A J. Crew one. One called Shoemint, where you can also tap into sister sites to buy bags, jewelry, and clothes, extra closet sold separately.

Naturally, this discovery led me to stroll down memory lane to the high-school days when I belonged to the Columbia House Record Club. There was nothing better than coming home at the end of a boring day at school and finding a package of Cure, R.E.M., and Depeche Mode cassettes (yes, cassettes), waiting in the mailbox.

Then it led me to recall the unfortunate year or two after college that I belonged to the

Wow, you need some really dry lips to join the lip balm of the month club, I’d think.

Book-of-the-Month Club and ended up with a book on dream interpretation (It seemed like a good idea at the time), and a cookbook from which I have made exactly two recipes, neither of which have come out that good.

Then I started wondering what other “of the month clubs” there are, which led me on a slightly hilarious journey.

Here are a few: Wine, craft beer, and coffee. Yum, yum, and yum. I’ve even come across a wine of the month club that sells wine by women vintners only, which is very cool. But did you know you can also do of-the-month clubs for cigars, dog treats, and jerky? Pass, pass, and pass. There are also monthly subscriptions for teddy bears, tea, chai tea (who knew there’s more than one kind of chai tea?), mustard, cheesecake, cupcakes, peanut-butter-and-jelly, hot sauce (not to be confused with the BBQ sauce club), pasta, pickles, soap and—wait for it—water. Yes, water. Or pardon me, fine water.

There are several, as I mentioned, on the more sartorial end of the spectrum. I confess to wanting, just an eensy-weensy bit, to join Birchbox, which sends makeup and product samples to your door, nestled in a cute little box, of course. There are so many of-the-month clubs that I wonder if there is a club of the month club, where you can try a different of-the-month club every month.

I wonder if there is a club of the month club, where you can try a different of-the- month club each month.

Actually, looking back at the list, it seems you could actually subsist only on items ordered from of-the-month clubs. That might be a project worth trying. I’d happily live on PB&J, pasta, cupcakes, and wine for a year, though the challenge would probably be fitting into the clothing-of-the month. I’d probably have to switch, then, to the lower-calorie water-of-the month club. But there would be soap, and coffee, and of course, I could always join the Book-of-the-Month Club again. I may never have to leave the house again.

 

New Year’s Resolutions, Crisis in Denim Style

Frye boots, Bordeaux color

Maybe this will be the year these gorgeous Frye bordeaux-colored boots (their color name, not mine), magically land in my closet.

Being Jewish brings with it many burdens (the guilt! the guilt!), not the least of which is having to mark not one but two new years (the regular January one, and Rosh Hashana), which means not one but two sets of resolutions to break and feel guilty about later.

It’s good to have resolutions large and small to cover all aspects of your life. I mean, sure I have big resolutions that involve vowing to be a better person, one who smiles and says ‘excuse me’ to the fellow subway passenger with her bag on a seat rather than one who gives the scowl of death and wishes she had one of those handbags that is also a set of rings that is also a weapon until said passenger sheepishly moves her bag (even though it is COMPLETELY against New York City subway etiquette to have your bag on a seat during rush hour when people are STANDING, I’m just SAYING.).

What I’m getting at is that I like to start the new year with some smaller resolutions as well. Not personality-changing ones, necessarily, but sartorial ones that will make getting dressed in the morning more efficient and pleasureable; resolutions that will keep me from spending money on things I don’t need, while helping me enjoy the ones I already have.

So here, in no particular order, are my top Rosh Hashana resolutions, Crisis in Denim style: Continue reading

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

For god only knows what reason, I had a dream the other night about Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life. Yeah, I know. My subconscious was pretty freaked out too.

After dreaming of that late 70s/early 80s sitcom about boarding school girls and their kindly house mother, I woke up with the overwhelming need to do some IMDBing.

Seen through a contemporary lens, the The Facts of Life had shortcomings. The show’s one African-American character had a somewhat belittling name (Tootie); another character made overtly violent threats at her classmates (Jo). My eight-year-old self didn’t understand this. Instead, I couldn’t wait each week to see the gorgeous, stuck-up Blair flip her blonde hair, flaunt her beautiful clothes, and reluctantly learn a life lesson.

When the world never seems to be living up to your dreams

What does this have to do with clothing? Well, in looking on IMDB, I found a picture of Blair and was immediately struck by how much her clothing resembles the clothes I see everywhere now—both in stores and out and about. I mean, I know the late 70s and early 80s are back. I see young(er) people wearing kicky little hats, shorts over tights, and oversized blazers. Still, I don’t think I realized just how MUCH the era was back until I saw  Blair’s platform open-toed sneakers, shortest of short shorts, and button-down midriff-tied shirt.

I was especially struck by the shoes. I guess because I was so little when the show first came out, I don’t remember platform sneakers from that era. Until my dream and subsequent IMDB session, I had figured they were a more modern outgrowth of the rise of athletic wear as fashion.

Although, I do have to say: Poor Mrs. Garrett. I mean, as much as viewers and characters alike loved her, she certainly got the short end of the stick in the costume department.

Ah well. As they say. You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have…

You knew that was coming, didn’t you?