If I Had Only Slowed Down: An Ode to the Clothes That Could Have been Mine

I could have bought cashmere all fuzzy and soft
Or a nice pair of pants seen at Ann Taylor Loft
I could have bought Gucci or Pucci or Betsey
Or a handbag that’s one of a kind sold on Etsy

Oh the boots I’d have had, some Cole Hanns, or a Frye
Oh the shoes I’d have got, oh the shoes, I might cry!
For one hundred and seventy bucks I must pay
To municipal coffers in the state of M-A

Since the friendly state trooper , his lights white and blue
Said: you know you were going a brisk eighty-two
In a sixty-five zone. I had no choice, alas
But to pull you right over … you were going too fast

I begged for some mercy, a small bit of pity
Don’t you know, that I just bought a coat . It’s so pretty
that I now need a scarf that will match, and a hat
Just give me a warning, we’ll leave it at that

But the cop shook his head, so I’ll just pay the fine
And mourn for the dresses that could have been mine
But at least I have learned, that for shopping’s sake
I must slow my ass down, and keep my foot on the brake